One Cold Night
by Warrayfinson
Summary: Thirty years ago, Hitsugaya resolved to become a captain of the Gotei 13. Now, five months after Aizen's defeat, Hitsugaya finds Hinamori alone in the cold and remembers why he dedicated himself to that goal.
**AN: Hey everyone! Still on a roll from all the hype of the latest BLEACH chapters, so here is another Hitsuhina fanfic that I started on two years ago and finally went back to redo and finish. This oneshot is set after chapter 423 and was partly inspired by a Hitsuhina comic (which I unfortunate do not know the name of or the artist behind it) and by a Shinji and Momo scene from the novella 'The Death Save the Strawberry' by Tite Kubo and Makoto Matsubara.**

 **Also, this oneshot contains moments of fluff and a bit of angst. Hope you enjoy it and apologies for any mistakes I missed during editing. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I own this laptop, this IPod, this desk, and this globe, Tite Kubo owns BLEACH and it's characters.**

* * *

 **One Cold Night**

Thirty years ago

 _He didn't know how long he had stood out in the cold. When he looked up, he saw the sky and streaks of clouds were dyed with purples and blues as the rim of the sun sunk further over the mountains of the Soul Society. The smell of damp earth lingered in the chilly air, but intensified when it began to rain again._

 _All was silent in the courtyard except for the rainfall and the occasional 'clink' of the chain attached to his zanpukto. He looked down at his sword, his brows furrowing even more. What did he have to do to get stronger? He felt like just when he was on the brink of achieving bankai it slipped away from him the beads of rain on his blade._

 _He looked past the blade to a puddle at the edge of his foot. His reflection was distorted by the ripples of rain drops. What was reflected back at him was a seated member of the Gotei thirteen. A supposed child prodigy. An outcast in the Rukongai. But he saw none of those things. All he saw was a boy, eyes full of fear and weakness._

 _He cringed and kicked the puddle, sending a wide spray of water through the air and saturating his sandal and sock. As he brought his foot back down to the ground, he realised he was shivering. He didn't know whether it was from the cold or frustration._

* * *

Present day

Hitsugaya stepped back out into the hallway and slammed the door shut behind him, he half hoping that it would sober up the people in his office. Sadly for him, he heard the drunken laughter and talking continue as if he hadn't opened the door and exposed them. Well, they hadn't exactly seen him in the first place. Rangiku, Renji, Izuru, and Hisagi just stumbled around the room, performing some strange dance only they understood under the haze of sake.

"Matsumoto," he said, frustration gritting his voice, "one of these day I'm going to find that secret stash of yours." But not anytime soon.

The white-haired captain sighed and crossed his arms, unsure where to go now that he couldn't work with a bunch of drunkards dancing around him. He'd been training in the caves all day and – knowing his Rangiku as well as he did – suspected his lieutenant hadn't done any paperwork at all, leaving it for him to do. Sometimes, he hated being right.

Shaking his head, he turned and walked down the hallway. Outside the windows he passed, the late dusk sky was blocked by dark clouds. Snow lazily fell, landing in small patches all around the tenth division barrack's courtyards and training grounds. Stepping outside, Hitsugaya tugged his scarf higher up and decided to going for a walk around the Sereitei would help clear his head. His breath fogged in the crisp, chilly air as he walked along the balconies of the division barracks.

This was his favourite time of the year, but he found himself unable to appreciate it like he usually did. Instead, he reflected on the lack of progress he had made today in his training. Inwardly cringing, he glanced at the hilt of his zanpukto strapped across his back. _What do I have to do to become stronger, Hyourinmaru? It's been months now, and I've barely improved…What am I missing?_

A sudden violent gust of wind surprised him out of his revere. As it died down the sky had grown darker and now a hazy, bright outline of the moon shone through the clouds.

Tilting his head away from the sky, he realised he has ended up near the fourth division and started to go back in the direction he came, but stopped when a flash of pink caught his attention in his peripheral. When he turned and saw who it was, his lips parted and he couldn't hold back a surprised sound.

She leaned against the balcony railing, two storeys above him, her head tilted to the sky. Only her white shihakusho and a peach-coloured blanket around her shoulders protected her from the harsh cold. Her reiatsu was weak, as if it were being blown away with the winds that passed through. For a moment, he watched her, too stunned to move.

Composing his mind, he flash-stepped to the balcony without thinking. His frown deepened when she didn't seem to notice him, her eyes caught in some kind of trance in the sky. Part of him wanted to leave her while she wasn't aware of his presence. But more than that, he realised, he had wanted to see her, wanted to know why he felt a strange sense of déjà vu. Softly, he said "Hinamori?"

Momo jolted hearing her name. Eyes wide, she tilted her head towards the captain. Upon seeing him, her gasp fogged in the air. "S-Shiro-chan…"

Choosing not to correct her, Hitsugaya came half to closing the gap between them. For a moment they stared at each other, not sure what to say, do, or think. Momo finally broke the silence once her eyes scrutinsed Hitsugaya from head to toe. "You've...changed your look."

Not sure how to take the comment, he decided to get to the point instead. "What are you doing out here?"

Her eyes took on a glazed quality and slid back to the night sky. Her head soon followed. "I…I just wanted to get some fresh air."

Hitsugaya looked to place she stared at, and wished he could see what she saw. She was looking somewhere beyond the dark clouds and the hazy outline of the moon. When his gaze returned to her, his concern grew when he noticed the shivers that ran up her limbs and how pale her skin was.

"But I've been out here for so long," she said, to herself he guessed. "When did it get so cold all of a sudden?"

He let his concern soften the furrow in his brows and guide his actions. He stepped in front of her and tightened the blanket around her shoulders. It was damp with melted snow. "Baka, you should have worn more. Get inside before you catch a cold."

"I didn't realise how much time had gone by, I was so caught up in my thoughts..." She paused, looking as though she just realised he was standing in front of her. Distress made its way to her eyes. "I can't move…I'm too cold to move."

His heart ached and he inwardly winced. He put his hands on her arms, alarmed at how cold they were and hating the tremors that shook them. "Come on, let's go inside."

For a moment, she simply stared at him, her eyes trying to read him. They flickered down to his hands on her arms. She leaned back slightly. Confused, he opened his mouth to speak but her smile, small and fragile, stopped him. "Thank you, Shiro-chan."

His heart ached again at the sight of her smile, but he focused on helping her to move. "It's 'Hitsugaya-taicho'," he corrected weakly.

In the back of his mind, he started to wonder if her shivers were because of the cold.

* * *

By the time they were back inside Momo's room in the fourth division, the snow fall became harsher and the winds rattled the window panes. Hitsugaya was glad he found her when he did, tensing up at the thought that she would have stood out there through all of this weather and probably not notice it.

"Something wrong, Hitsugaya-kun?"

The captain looked away from the long window to Momo. She stood at the near her bed, the blanket from her shoulders now folded over the foot of the frame. She had her head cocked slightly with a look of concern.

Hitsugaya eased his posture. "It's nothing."

Seemingly satisfied with his answer, she sat on the edge of the bed, her back turned to him. Her eyes fell to the two cups of tea at her bedside table. On their way back to her room, one of the nurses noticed the pair and the shivers that ran through Momo. The nurse immediately made tea for the two and had brought it to them just as they had gotten to Momo's room.

"You better get this tea while it's hot," she said as she took one of the cups.

He looked to the door as uncertainty coursed through him. He should have left as soon as she was in the room. He had decided he wouldn't visit her until she had fully recovered and was back on duty, when he knew what to say to her. But just as before, when he found her outside and had spoken her name, he found his concern overriding everything else.

While she drank her tea, he crossed the room, took his cup, and sat on the chair at her bedside, his knees almost bumping up against hers. Much to his relief, some of the colour had returned to her skin and her shivers had stopped. But her eyes showed she was still partly stuck in her thoughts from outside, glazed and hooded. When she pulled the tea away from her lips, her body deflated with a sigh and she bowed her head. Her hands tightened around her cup as she gazed at reflection in the tea.

Unable to stand the silence and melancholic expression on her face, he spoke up. "So tell me, why were you really out there?"

She blinked and pursed her lips. Her eyes went to the window over her shoulder, and he found himself doing the same. Behind the sheets of falling snow, the Sereitei was quiet, with only a few flickers of light in the distance showing that there was any life in the shadows and silhouettes. Briefly, he remembered times when all he saw were the tops of the buildings from behind the wall in the Jurianan, shadows against the night sky, and not sharing the same curiosity his childhood friend did when they looked from his home.

"Hitsugaya-kun..." Her voice was so quiet he wondered if he's heard her at all. Her lips moved to a make a smile, but it was pathetic attempt. "I was out there to get some fresh air, really."

"You've always been a terrible liar, Hinamori," he said, perhaps too bluntly for his liking, before taking a sip of his tea.

Their eyes found each other. Seeing the guilt in hers almost wavered his determination to pry out what was bothering her. The last thing he wanted was to sadden her more then she already was. Or perhaps…

"Is it about me?"

At hearing this, Momo's eyes widened and she vehemently shook her head. "No, no, no! I-I'm not upset with you. I…I know now, a-about why you…"

He struggled to maintain his usual frown. "Hinamori I…I'm so sorry…" He hated how his voice faltered at the end, how he found himself so lost for words. How utterly hopeless and pathetic his attempt at apologising was.

 _Why did it have to be now?_ , he thought. He put his tea aside. "I should go and leave you to rest." He started to get up out of the chair.

Alarmed, Hinamori quickly spoke. "It's all right, Shiro-chan! I was told by Unohana-taicho…I-I know it was an accident, a-and I know that afterwards you were…hurt badly too." Her voice became quiet. "Everyone was. So please, don't…I'm really glad you're here. Please stay."

He released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding as relief coursed through him. He eased back into the chair. He quickly grabbed his tea and brought it to his lips to hide the mild tremor that ran through his hands.

"The truth is, Hitsugaya-kun," she said, her hesitant tone causing him to pull the cup away and look back at her. "Everything has changed since the war with the Arrancars. Hearing about everyone moving on, getting new captains, while I just sat here…I thought I was forgotten."

Her breathing became shallow. Even though he desperately wanting to tell her how she could never be forgotten – that he was waiting for her to recover before he came to see her – he waited for her to continue, sensing she had needed to get all of this of her chest. When she spoke, her eyes focused on the steam rising from her cup. "Hirako-san visited me earlier today. He's to be the new captain of the fifth division. We talked for a while, and he told me that I wasn't forgotten, that everyone was just focusing on rebuilding the Sereitei and brushing up on their skills." Her eyes now met his and her faint smile made another appearance. "He even asked me to be stay on as the lieutenant of the fifth division."

Hitsugaya had barely had any contact with Hirako, and all he knew was that he was to be reassigned as the captain of the fifth division. Knowing now he had come and spoken to Momo, reassured her and offered to keep her on as his lieutenant, Hitsugaya made a mental note to somehow thank the man once he had been sworn in again.

"I was really surprised," Momo continued. However, he noticed her smile and voice wavered. "I don't think …I'm afraid that I'm not a good enough lieutenant anymore, after everything that has happened."

Tears started to rim her eyes. Even though it was obvious she was struggling to get the next words out without spilling the tears, she continued. "I-I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, or be deceived… I-I feel so scared to go back to my division, because I-I'm not strong enough."

She bit her lip as two tears streamed down her cheeks, landing on her quivering hands, and it took everything within Hitsugaya to not tell her she didn't have to continue anymore. "I want to become stronger, Shiro-chan, so that neither you, or Izuru-kun, or Rangiku-san, or any of my friends have to worry about or be hurt by me anymore.

She put her cup back on her bedside table and brought her hands to her face, sobbing. "I wan't to become strong enough to stand by and fight along side all of you, so that I won't be left behind or hold you back."

That spark of déjà vu came again. He ignored it, focusing on the ache in his chest and the sight of his childhood friend, scared and self-loathing. Finding himself speechless, he put his cup down next to hers and allowed himself to drop his guard as he moved to sit next to her. She didn't seem to notice, even when he finally decided to pull her into a hug. Her shoulder dug into his chest and her head lay in the crook of his neck.

Other than her sobs echoing around the small room, silence reigned over them for a long moment. Still unable to find the words to comfort her, he tightened his arms around her. He looked out the window again, and without realising it, laid his cheek on her forehead. He found himself coming back to that nagging sense of déjà vu. In his mind, he saw snow and rain, the night sky covered by clouds, being so cold but not knowing why he was shivering, gauze around her arm, her smile so wide with belief and confidence in him…and his desire to become stronger.

He took in a sharp breath as the revelation dawned on him, and with it, the words he needed to tell her.

On a night like this, so many years ago…

* * *

… _He didn't know whether it was from the cold or frustration._

" _Shiro-chan?"_

 _Jolted from his thoughts, he raised his head to the girl who came jogging towards him. Surprised by her sudden appearance, he didn't bother giving his usual response to his nickname._

 _She frowned as she came to a stop at his side. "What are you doing out here?"_

 _For a moment he simply stared at her. The rain dampened her shihakusho and plastered her fringe to her forehead. His eyes wondered to the medical dressing on her left cheek, then down to her arm wrapped tightly in gauze. His lips became a tight line and his eyes narrowed a fraction. The frustration from before was pooling inside him again.  
_

" _Shiro-chan, what's wrong? What are you doing out here?"_

 _He looked back to her eyes, and seeing the concern there, he didn't know whether his frustration cooled or intensified. She was always like this. Always worried about others before herself. Always putting others' needs above her own. Always putting her life on the line for others…_ _It had only been a few days since he first saw her with the dressing and gauze after she came back from her mission. Her injuries must have been worse then he thought._

 _Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, her eyes scanning him from head to toe. "Whatever the reason, Shiro-chan, you should get inside before you catch a cold - you're completely drenched."_

 _Despite his wishes that she would look out for herself more, he found that the most endearing part of her. The part that drawn him to her in the first place. A shiver ran through him when her uninjured hand, warm and soft, landed on his shoulder, nudging him towards a nearby building._

 _Reluctantly, he slipped out her grasp and walked towards the building. He didn't realise how slow he was until she was walking beside him. When they were walking up the small steps of the veranda he finally spoke. "I was training."_

 _Momo's eyes widened. Now under the shelter of the veranda, he stopped. She stepped in front of him, trying to catch his eyes. "Training?"_

 _He quickly turned away from her and looked back at the courtyard. He wanted to tell her that this type of weather was the optimal time for him to train with a zanpukto like his and discover its full potential. But he found that only be a quarter of the truth. Maybe it was the rain, or the concern she had shown for him, but found himself telling her what he had told no one else, not even himself._

" _I'm going to become a captain."_

 _He heard her feet shift behind him and maybe even a quiet gasp. His heart raced underneath his chest and his grip tightened on Hyourinmaru, trying to steady himself. "I have to achieve bankai and become a captain, so that I can change things. When I do, I'll be stronger, strong enough to…" His heart stammered._ Protect you from harm being harmed by the Hollows again _, he mentally added_.

 _Neither spoke for what seemed like an eternity. He watched the rain and the sky darken as the sun completely vanished. He felt her gaze on the back of his head, trying to gauge his thoughts and feelings. He found himself trying to do the same. He knew moments ago he only had the desire to become stronger to protect her, but he never realised this desire had manifested itself into a wish to become a captain. Maybe it was a result of the disrespect he had received all of his life, and that prideful part of him wanted to show to everyone what he could achieve, that he wasn't just some freak of nature with unusually coloured hair and eyes. Maybe he wanted to prove to himself that he was better then what the residents in the Junrinan made him out to be. Those might be facets, because at this wish's core, he believed it was still for her._

" _Go for it."_

 _The words brought him out of his thoughts. He turned to her, uncertain that she had just spoken. Her smile and the excitement in her eyes caused his lips to part, his eyes to widen._ _He knew he had dropped his guard, that he no longer had his usual frown in place.  
_

" _I don't know what it is you want to change, but if anyone can do it it's you, Hitsugaya-kun," she said, closing the gap between them. "You've worked so hard to be here. In such a short period of time, you graduated from the_ _Shinōreijutsuin, became a seated member in your division, and have risen up in the ranks. You even know the name of your zanpukto and have achieved Shikai.  
_

" _For someone your age, you're incredible, Shiro-chan. You work hard, don't let anything hold you back, and you're committed to whatever task you set your mind to. That's why I have no doubt you can become a captain. I fully support behind you."_

 _Warmth flooded through him, tingling in his limbs, heating up his cheeks, burning in his heart, and blasting away the chill of the rain._

 _Did she see his insecurities, fears and hopes?_

 _Is that how did she know what to say to him?_

 _Did she even know she had given him the words he needed to hear?_

 _Seeing that utter, unwavering belief in her eyes and smile, he found a part of himself was set in place. That desire to become a captain, now fully realised with her support and belief in him, finally set itself into his identity._

" _Momo…"_

 _A faint blush found its way to her cheeks, surprised by hearing her first name. He let the gratitude shine through his eyes._

" _Thank you."_

* * *

… she had given the words he needed to hear when he was feeling useless and afraid. And now, it was his turn.

He lifted his cheek away from her head and looked down at her. "Do you truly think you're useless?"

One of her hands fell from her face, landing in his lap. She stared off into space, her mouth opening to respond, but he spoke before she could.

"Matsumoto told me what you did during the battle against Halibel's fraccion. The kido net you created to use against them, and when you saved Matsumoto from hitting the ground after she was hit by that creature they created. You saved my lieutenant. How were you useless then?"

He heard her softly grunt. "Shiro…"

"I suspect even Hirako sees it," he continued. "He only just met you and probably knew you were still capable of the position. Everyone knows you are. I don't understand how you could think everyone had forgotten you. They know that you work hard to keep your division running smoothly. They know you worked hard to become a lieutenant. You're not going to let that go to waste, are you? You really think we'd leave some like you behind? You've come this far, and I know, without a doubt, you can become stronger."

She shifted in his arms. He let her pull back, but his hands slipped down to her forearms. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. "I really want to, Shiro-chan," she said softly, "but I want to be able to stand on my own two feet and not burden others."

"In order to do that," he said, "you need to rest and focus on your recovery." His eyes fell to his hands around her arms. "It won't be easy, it hasn't been easy…for any of us. I'm sure that's why everyone else has decided to focus on becoming stronger and hone their skills - so that they could lighten each others burdens and grow together." His eyes found her again, and he hoped they were able to convey his sincerity to her. "Take your time. They'll be there to help you lighten the burdens you carry just as you - as always - will be there to lighten theirs." He smiled. "We'll be waiting for you, bed-wetter." _I'll always be waiting for you,_ he mentally added.

At hearing her old nickname, she chuckled. "I don't wet the bed anymore, Shiro-chan." A tear slid down her cheek. "It seems…Hirako-san may have been right. He said some similar things to me. I didn't truly believe all of his words, but hearing them from you as well..." Her eyes became reflective as she trailed off. She slipped one her arms from his grasp and placed her hand on top of his. "Thank you, Hitsugaya-kun."

Even though he kept his smile in place, he reluctantly pulled his hand away from her and rose up from the bed. "You should sleep now. It's late."

She eventually looked away from him and nodded. "Yes, I suppose so." She reached up and pulled the corner of the blanket back before turning her attention back to him. "Will I see you again soon?"

At this his smile dropped and he crossed his arms over his chest. "I can't be sure."

She smiled in understanding. "Paperwork?"

He nodded. "Among other things, yes."

"It's all right. I'll just have to come visit you once I'm discharged and settled back into my duties." She slipped a leg under the covers. "Good night, Hitsugaya-kun."

He turned and went for exit. "Sleep well, Hinamori."

He heard her climb into bed and pull the blankets over herself.

"Hitsugaya-kun?"

He stopped in the doorway but only turned his head halfway. "What is it?"

She sighed, and he sensed hesitation from her in the short pause. "Even though it wasn't your fault, I forgive you."

His heart clenched and he sharply exhaled the breath in his lungs. A shiver ran down his arms. It took everything in him willpower not to drop his guard and turn around, walk to her bedside, and gather her in his arms again. Not trusting his voice to be steady, he whispered "Good night, Hinamori."

With that, he turned and left the fourth division, his heart tingling with a familiar warmth. This didn't change his desire or reason to perfect his bankai. It only intensified it.

Again, she knew the words to tell him when he needed them most. He could only hope that he had been able to do the same for her tonight.

* * *

 **AN: Hitsugaya is probably a bit out of character, but let's face it, when it comes to Momo, he'd do anything for her to be happy. I really hope Momo shows up soon, she needs a moment to shine! Also, I'm desperate for a Hitsuhina moment…**

 **Anyhow, hopefully I'll right somethign a bit lighter soon. Thank you for reading and let me know what you thought :)**

 **Keep writing!**

 **-Warrayfinson**


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